![]() ![]() SORRY! Oh, hey, I love this part! I love this. Oh, well, hey, pardon me, pal, huh? What am I, just the President of the United STATES! Hey, hey, hey, is this a First Lady or WHAT, huh? I just hope I'm her first man! Sorry I'm late, guys, but I was freeing some Negroes! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Tonight we'll go behind another of history's myths to learn, "The Real Story."Įxcuse me. whereas we now know the opposite to be true. You know history often whitewashes itself? For example, for years it was thought that Thomas Jefferson was a man, and that his wife slept around. I'm Lawrence Flyshacker, and welcome to, "The Real Story." Tonight we continue our series on the U.S. Wait a minute! President Kennedy is dead? How? When? I can't believe this! This was one of the most important events of the 20th century and you people are totally clueless! Well, Joe, in light of what just happened, I'm ashamed to admit that Jim told me right before the show started. Mary, when did you find out President Kennedy had been shot? Well, hey now you know, I was busy with school and girls and playing sports and stuff and I really wasn't into current events. Wait a minute! You didn't know President Kennedy had been shot until eight years ago? You're telling us you were in college at age 6? Well, I was in college and I was walking across the quad to call and this guy runs up and says 'President Kennedy has been shot', so I. What were you doing when you heard President Kennedy had been shot? We've brought together these three people to share with us their members of the day they learned that President Kennedy had been shot. This year marks the 20th anniversary of the death of President John F. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.Good evening. I decided we were right going into World War II.” – from a CBS interview with Morley Safer, Oct. And I got to the war, and saw the Germans, and I changed my mind. I thought it was wrong to go into any war. “Dogs are nicer than people.” – from an essay on the true things in life, Dec. How much would it cost if you didn’t handle it before you sent it to me?” – from an essay on fine print, March 12, 1989 “I understand shipping – you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company – but what’s this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don’t want a lot of people handling something I’m going to buy before I get it. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?” – from an essay on pill bottles, Oct. “I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. ![]() But why are they always trying to con us with the contrived pictures on the box that don’t look anything like you get when you eat it?” – from an essay on the pictures on food packages, Dec. “A lot of these products are actually pretty good. “The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.” – from an essay on coffee cans, Oct. “One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.” – from Rooney’s first “60 Minutes” essay, July 2, 1978 You don’t get any luckier in life than that.” – from Rooney’s final “60 Minutes” essay, Oct. … All this time I’ve been paid to say what is on my mind on television. ![]() “Not many people in this world are as lucky as I’ve been. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.” – on the astronauts aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger after it exploded on takeoff in 1986 “We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that’s what they were. I lose that much getting mad, waiting to get on the plane through security at the airport.” – from an essay on computers, Feb. “I recently bought this new laptop to use when I travel.
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